Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Zip Up That Chicken Suit!

The Top Ten Journalists Who Should Appear on Television Wearing a Chicken Suit for Knowing the Truth about Sarah Palin and Babygate, and Refusing to Publicly Say a Word About It!

10. Jeanne Devon (AK Mudflats)

9. Shannyn Moore (Just a Girl from Homer)

8. Chris Matthews (Hardball)

7. Keith Olbermann (Countdown)

6. Campbell Brown (Campbell Brown)

5. Wolf Blitzer (The Situation Room)

4. Rachel Maddow (The Rachel Maddow Show)

3. Meghan McCain (The Daily Beast)

2. Arianna Huffington (The Huffington Post)

1. Greta Van Susteren (On the Record)

Feel free to vote for your favorites in the poll or add more chickens to the list in the comments!

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Check Their Queen!

Doesn't this image remind you of someone? If you have ever played chess, you should be able to realize just how strongly the balance of the game can be shifted when one player's fighting men have all been dispatched by his competitor and his king has heard the inevitable, Check! It becomes a game of cat and mouse from that point onward. The player whose king is in check with only a queen for companionship is the player who is always on the defensive. There is no time left for offensive maneuvers when your precious queen is on the run. Your tactical plans have been laid to waste. The only strategy you have left to play is to protect that queen at all costs.

The Republicans have a queen. The Democrats are displaying something less than intestinal fortitude when they blatantly ignore opportunities to threaten the other team's queen. How far along would health care reform be if the elephants had been kept on defense these past weeks? How much less divisive would our nation be if the right-wing operatives were busy defending their queen instead of issuing rallying cries for hate speech?

How do you threaten a queen? You bring issues to light so the Foxes guarding the hen house have less time to spark attacks on our (and their) President. The recent eBay auction was a scam from the beginning. The Hong Kong audience members are a bunch of Communists. Who carries her baby like a sack of potatoes? I don't want the retarded baby... I want the other one.