Let's cut to the chase. There is precisely one, and only one, reason why any of us gives a rat's ass about Levi Johnston or any of his Palinbrat pals: he knows where the bodies are buried. Whether there is only one Trig or one separate Tripp or several of each, Levi knows enough to stop the madness, even if he is honestly ignorant about some of the details. His recantation this morning was about as surprising as a snowfall in Alaska, just as the news breaks of his girlfriend's new gig as an exciting new prime time celebrity. Wow! I have never seen this movie before. Who would have ever dreamed that the circus had kept its tent up for an extended engagement? We have to keep Joy Behar's millions coming in on the most provocative channel on cable! We wouldn't want her to actually have to tell the truth that the public really wants to hear. We have to all pretend that we care so deeply about the Palinbrat Circus that we watch it every day just for its unlimited excitement. Blow it out your millionaire ass, Joy, I'm sick of being provoked. If you cannot give us real news that matters, we'll be glad to change the channel.
I pick on Joy Behar because she used to be one of the good people, like Whoreanna Fuckington, Gloria Borger, Jay Leno, Barbara Wa-wa, and Oprah. Jay owns many of the exact models of sports cars and motorcycles that I can only worship from afar, but after decades of watching him and listening to his humor, he has been permanently placed on my no watch, no listen list. Since the day he interviewed Sarah Palin without asking a single question relevant to any pertinent scope of reality, Jay has been off my television screen. I refuse to watch even a single minute of his show. The same goes for the others I named, and more such interviewers with terminal amnesia whose names, only for the sake of brevity, I have not listed here. In my household, if you, Mr. or Ms. Millionaire A-hole Interviewer, talks on TV with Sarah Palin without asking a single tough question of the consistently lying and obfuscating witch, you are no longer welcome on my TV screen, and I mean forever.
If only we could all make this choice, maybe we could encourage some of the corporate news media to pay attention. Don't bring up that Maddow and Olbermann nonsense, either. Since when has either of them told the truth about Babygate? Do you think they were somehow excused from the meetings with the boss? Anyone who feels the same way I do about these truths should personally boycott any and all of these talking heads immediately. Yes, I understand if you want to give M & O a pass on a total boycott, but you could at least throw a pillow at the screen every time one of them is presented with a golden opportunity to mention Babygate and doesn't. Even if you make these choices within your own homes, at least your nerves could settle down a bit. If there is no decent news on television at the time, just as it seems in my house more and more these days, you could at least read a book. There are a number of these out there that will tell you the truth about SP, even if none yet specifically tell you the tale of Babygate that you yearn so deeply to read.
Whether it is a deceased Ruffles, an acquired Trig, or a Tripp born in early 2008, Levi knows the truth that will stop her. If we did not think this fact was at least more than a little likely, he could do a striptease on the news and most of us would go, Eeewww! and change the channel. Well, the male viewers would, anyway. We could care less who is the next Mayor of Wasilla or the dancing partner of a has-been star. We are all weary of counting babies and examining baby faces, ears, and toes. How many more newscasters, interviewers, and talk show hosts can we tune out? We are running out of viable news channels on our remote controls. Just tell us where the bodies are buried, take the media payoff or book deal, and run like hell to a warmer climate, Levi.
