Meanwhile Back at the Ranch

In honor of the next debate to be held at the Reagan Library in Simi Valley CA on September 7, it is now time for another round of questions. Note that this next debate will likely be the first to to star Governor Goodhair facing Mittens with Flip-Flops and Bachmann Turnip Overripe for the first time. MSNBC has decided it is time to close down* the wide, silly stage, so some of the lesser big-mouths will find themselves on the cutting room floor with Gary Johnson. Personally I would have cut Crazy For Bizness Cain before Johnson. Gary at least wants to legalize marriage-a-wanna, and I am all for that because it is a tossup which war is stupider, the War on Iraq or the War on Drugs. I tend to like Ron Paul's idea of stopping them all, however, whenever he says IRS and flat tax in the same sentence, all I can think of is Steve Forbes, and the stuff I want to do to that jerk born with a silver spoon up is ass is quite unprintable in polite company. Tax the rich more, not the poorest of us, dumbass! I really do hope MSNBC dumps Cain, Santorum, and The Newt from its debate, but I am not holding my breath that all of these will be expunged. Generally speaking, I applaud MSNBC's move so the voters can learn more about the truly serious candidates, although some of the entertainment value of the debate will most certainly be left on that cutting room floor.

There is one certain Candyass Candidate we would all like to see on that stage. Not only is she as thin-skinned as the honorable Rove claims, she is the biggest chicken to have ever avoided a debate. Some people have postulated that she will declare on 9/3 and my vote has been for 9/11, but even if she chooses either date or a much later one, I do not expect to see her on any debate stage because she is CHICKEN! For your entertainment, and the sanity of the intelligent part of the American citizenry, I am presenting the questions that she should be asked, either in a debate or simply in any nationally televised forum.

(1) How many times have you been pregnant?

(2) Have you ever had a miscarriage?

(3) Have you ever had an abortion?

(4) How many babies have you birthed in your lifetime?

(5) Have you ever had a tubal ligation of any type?

(6) How many babies have been born to your daughter Bristol?

(7) Has your daughter Willow ever been pregnant?

(8) Did you give birth to anyone or anything on April 18, 2008?

(9) Was Bristol pregnant at the time of the 2008 Republican Convention?

(10) If Bristol was pregnant at that time, how many months along was she?

(11) Was Tripp born to Bristol at the end of December of 2008?

(12) If this date is incorrect, when exactly was Tripp born?

(13) Is Levi the father of Tripp?

(14) Does Levi know the exact truth concerning the birth of Trig?

(15) Is Trig Levi's son?

(16) Was Trig ever named Tripp before his name was changed to Trig?

(17) Is the name Trig a reference to Down syndrome, also referred to as TriG?

(18) Did Levi and Bristol have a baby together on purpose?

(19) Have Levi and Bristol ever been married?

(20) Have Levi and Bristol ever been officially engaged?

(21) Was there a time when Levi more or less resided in your home?

(22) If so, when was that time and what was its duration?

(23) In what hospital or other location was the Trig shown at the 2008 RNC born?

(24) On what date was the Trig shown at the 2008 RNC born?

(25) On what date was the baby shown in your kitchen photos of 5/3/08 born?

(26) Was this same baby carried to two official governor events in Anchorage earlier that same day?

(27) Was there an adult caretaker specifically for that baby with you on that excursion?

(28) Did that baby have a somewhat distinctively wrinkled or ruffled right ear?

(29) Is this the same baby that is pictured in Frank Bailey's book, Blind Allegiance?

(30) Is this the same baby that you took to a baby shower on 5/4/08?

(31) Was this baby shower a legitimate party for friends of a family with a new baby, or were there specific marketing or promotional motives for the presentation of this particular baby?

(32) Did you know at the time of the event on 5/4/08 that photos from this event would later be used on magazine covers?

(33) Did you specifically hold this baby in those photos so his right ear would not be visible?

(34) Why were photos deliberately removed from Mercede Johnston's computer?

(35) Was this referenced photo taken in your kitchen accidentally missed in the process of the removal of photos simply because it had already been uploaded to a MySpace page?

(36) Why were photos removed from the official Governor of Alaska's website soon after you became the VP nominee?

(37) Why are there almost no photos of you or your family publicly available from the time period of March - August of 2008?

(38) When Bristol was involved in an auto accident on 2/8/08 very close to a doctor's office, was she arriving or departing that office for any reason involving a pregnancy?

(39) Was the baby presented as Trig Palin at the 2008 RNC born to Bristol?

(40) Was the baby shown in your 5/3/08 kitchen photos born to Bristol?

(41) Was either of these babies, assuming they are not the same, born to anyone else in your immediate or extended family other than Bristol?

(42) Is Todd the father of either of these babies?

(43) On the outside chance that the ear of the baby in the kitchen photo could possibly belong to the baby presented at the 2008 RNC as Trig, are these two babies one and the same?

(44) Has the general public ever seen the baby from the kitchen photos outside the realm of Frank Bailey's book?

(45) Has a baby other than the one in the kitchen photos ever played the part of Trig?

(46) Did another baby, not mentioned previously here, ever play the part of Trig at any time on your first book tour?

(47) Has Tripp been involved in any deception of the public as to the correct identity of Trig?

(48) Is the baby in the kitchen photos of 5/3/08 the same baby being held by your parents at the hospital on 4/18/08?

(49) Is the baby displayed by your parents at the hospital on 4/18/08 the same baby you showed to the voting public at the RNC four and a half months later?

(50) Was the baby in the kitchen on 5/3/08 the same baby as anyone displayed as Trig on your first book tour?

(51) Was only one baby displayed as Trig throughout the duration of the RNC of 2008?

(52) On what date did you first learn that any of these babies being discussed had DS?

(53) Was there ever suspicion or proof at any time that a baby born as Trig or Tripp had Fetal Alcohol Syndrome?

(54) Is the baby shown in the kitchen photos alive today?

(55) If he is alive, precisely where is he?

(56) Could this baby in the kitchen photos possibly have been born a girl?

(57) Are there any twins involved in any of these possible combinations of babies?

(58) Have you ever used any sort of doll to impersonate baby Trig?

(59) Where does Trig spend most of his time, and who is his main caretaker?

(60) What exactly was Dr. CBJ's involvement in the birth of Trig or Trigs?

(61) Is Trig an officially adopted baby?

(62) Is Trig an unofficially adopted baby?

(63) Is there any baby who has played the part of Trig who is actually younger than Tripp?

(64) Is Levi Johnston the father of any baby who has been known as Trig?

(65) Is Todd the father of any baby who has been known as Trig?

(66) Is there a known father of any of these babies whose paternity has been kept secret?

(67) Was any procedure done to you during or after the birth of Piper that would preclude you from birthing another child?

(68) Whose idea was it to fake a pregnancy for political gain?

(69) Who all knows the complete story of this faked pregnancy scenario?

(70) Assuming that John McCain knows the truth, exactly when did he learn it?

(71) How many of the McCain campaign staff knew of the false pregnancy?

(72) Who was the first person in the national media after your selection as the VP nominee to learn about the false pregnancy?

(73) How many in the national media know the truth and when did they learn of it?

(74) Who was behind the whole fake pregnancy idea?

(75) Whose idea was the Wild Ride story?

(76) Exactly when was the fake pregnancy story conceptualized?

(77) When was the Wild Ride story created?

(78) Was the whole Wild Ride concept created before you even left Alaska to go to Grapevine TX for the governors' meeting?

(79) Did anyone else know about the Wild Ride plans other than Todd?

(80) Did your father realize what he was giving away when he said your water broke?

(81) Did Rick Perry offer you his private jet for the trip back to Alaska?

(82) Did Rick Perry know at the time that you were faking?

(83) Does Rick Perry know the truth of the hoax now?

(84) Do you have any sort of agreement with Perry that you will support him for President or the Republican nomination?

(85) Has Rick Perry indicated to you that he might select you as his running mate?

(86) Are you actually considering running against Perry for the Republican nomination?

(87) If the truth begins to come out about the faked pregnancy, are you going to present it as Bristol's folly and nothing more, or are you going to tell the complete story?

(88) Do you ever regret setting up and carrying out the hoax, so you could just live your life in peace?

* Note that although this link still works, the website has since removed it from the list of debates on its home page, and the list of debaters includes Perry and deletes Pawlenty, but leaves the rest of the monkeys on stage. I am not certain what this means....