Friday, June 3, 2011

Hooker Boots on Ice


Yes, I know this title is snarky, but I just could not resist it. For those of you who have been taken back a bit by my acidic tongue in recent posts, I only hope you will one day realize that I am actually a very nice guy. My goal for the last three years has been to slap the American voters awake. I don't want to just stop the political career of Sarah Palin; I want to stop the entire madness of this media-fueled Second Civil War that continually delays far more important issues. We need to unite against global warming, peak oil, and income inequality, just to name three. We all know this list could be much longer, but what are we doing? Arguing and slap-fighting over the endless Palin silliness as if our lives depended on it! Wait a minute? It does. She is the ringleader of the madness, so let's work our way down from the top.

Many of you have asked that I try to answer some of the now legendary, some would say offensive, others would say a long time coming, yet others would say rhetorical nonsense, and of course the ever popular egotistical slap-fights, 96 Questions. Yes, you are all correct in your descriptions of the questions: some are completely rhetorical; some you can already answer for yourselves, although you may be a bit timid concerning certain personal attitudes; and many just state things that many of us have pondered over these three agonizing years. There are two truths that will never be missing from anything I write. Every piece will be intended as both entertainment and information, hence the Nonfiction in a Fictional Style concept. You could call me the Sam Kinison of bloggers or the William F. Buckley, Jr., of entertainment, whichever suits you. What you think of me is always meant to be secondary to what you think about my message. I love America in a way that Ann Coulter never could. Was it Bill Hicks or President Obama who said that everybody is mad at me, so I must be doing something right?

Only a few of the 96 Questions are appropriate for a direct answer in a blog post. Number 6: Why do we so rarely see the February '08 video of Sarah walking around Juneau? is one of my favorite of these questions. I do not wish to slow down the loading of my blog with embedded video material, but here is a link to the February 13, 2008, Walk Around Juneau. Going back to the 2008 RNC, my wife spotted the future of Babygate immediately, but it took a few months for me to become totally in agreement with her position. The Walk Around Juneau video convinced me immediately as soon as I saw it the first time more than two years ago. I have found all the massive amount of still-photo analysis to be quite redundant ever since. The photo shown with this post is from exactly one month later on 3/12/08, if I have the photo dated correctly. If some of you know otherwise, I am sure you will let me know and I shall immediately either select another photo or change the date. You can see that Sarah is leaning forward slightly and is not seven months pregnant. I selected this particular photo from my files because this is a few days after the fake pregnancy was begun. The video clip represents a time a month earlier, when as far as I know, there was no discussion, or maybe even thought, of a planned fake pregnancy.

I do not know the direct answer to my Question #6. I can only guess that more people seem to be interested in the video with Janet Napolitano shot approximately one month later for several reasons. The most commonly stated seems to be that Sarah leans forward from a sitting position in that clip and she is always standing in this one. Another variable is that the Juneau clip is a month earlier, so Sarah was one month less pregnant at that time. It could be that people are attracted to it because of its closer proximity in time to her pregnancy announcement. My last comment is that it may just be because the Juneau clip contains several minutes of material that is somewhat irrelevant to the pregnancy case.

If you have not done so already, please stop reading now, click the link and view the video so we can talk about it together. I have no experience with video editing software, so the commercials and extraneous material have been left intact. The whole thing takes about ten minutes. Note that reader Lidia17 has created a somewhat shorter, and much better, special edit of the Hike Around Juneau video of 2/13/08. You will like this one much better, but in case you question the edits and slight modifications of the special version, you are welcome to compare it to the original.

The first thing you should notice is that snow and ice are everywhere, and yes, Sarah is wearing knee-high black leather boots with tall, skinny heels. You will have to sit through a little introduction to Juneau before Sarah even appears on the screen, but trust me: it's worth the wait! The on-camera video host greets her at the door and hands her a cup of hot coffee, which you will see that she holds in her hand for the remainder of the hike. I like this video because it was shot prior to any future conception, or should I say, misconception, of Babygate. I have watched this video many times, and the only possible six-month-pregnant person I see in this movie is the guy hosting it. She never winces, stumbles, slows down, looks carefully at her feet, or most importantly, does the pregnant woman duck waddle. She even almost collides with a fellow Juneau pedestrian without skipping a beat! Hot fox in hooker boots, yes; pregnant, no.