Texas Thunderclap

Okay, I give up. I cannot shut up about politics. Here is the new electoral map released after the most recent census, you know, the one after Obama was elected. First of all, notice that eight states have gained electoral votes and six of those are right-wing crazy and only two still have any sanity left. Yeah, I know. You want Florida to be put into the sane group, but that will not be easy unless the Medicare/SS issue opens their eyes this time. This is the same map that Karl Rove has been talking about, and unfortunately, I agree with him on this talking point. President Obama must not only reinforce the voting bloc he developed in '08, but he must overcome this new challenge of increased popular and electoral college votes in six at least moderately large red states. Note also too the major blue states that have lost votes since Obama's juggernaut. He better get busy and fire up some mad, old, white seniors. I'm not holding my breath.

It has been my opinion since the 2008 election that the only reason Jeb Bush is not stirring up old people in Florida is because of the Bush name. I have also felt that Rick Perry ran for an unprecedented third term at least somewhat because the mood of the country did not want another Governor of Texas in The White House. Now that he has held his extended governorship for a while, I think he may be ready to make his move. Unlike Governor Quittypants, he will be running as a three-term governor with executive experience. Have you noticed how Fox News and the other red pundits just love that phrase? They will have nice things to say about Governor Goodhair from the moment he announces his candidacy. When he does, Pawlenty's only lament will be something akin to Holy Sh*t and Governor Q will stomp off the stage in the ultimate pout. Pawlenty cannot beat The Hair and neither can Sarah. He has everything they want: Methodist; check. The look, the height, the hair, and the voice; check. Secessionist crap; check. Heartless toward minorities and poor people; check. Whines about federal funds, then begs for them; check. Mittens will be trying to pin his flip-flops on him. Bachmann Turnip Overripe will be angling for the VP spot before Pawlenty stops crying and spots the competition for the Number Two position.

I like Rick Perry only a little less than George Bush the Shrub, although I like him better than Bush's parents. I actually had a dream a few days ago in which I was at a party. I was sitting back in a comfortable recliner with Barbara Bush sitting on top of me. I tried to be courteous to her by saying that I thought her son had done at least a few good things while he was in the big house, but she was having none of it. I was just another loudmouth liberal pig, as far as she was concerned, and she was going to vehemently refute anything I tried to say to her. Why on earth was she sitting in my lap in a dream? I think it was this whole Texas red politician thingie that has been weighing on my mind so much lately. Or maybe it was just one of our cats sitting on top of me while I slept. Sometimes they consider that a highly regarded perch for a long licking session. The psychologist has promised to get back to me with his dream analysis.

There is no guarantee at this point that Perry will enter the race, but my point is that if he does, his chances of winning both the nomination and the general election are considerable. If Perry surprises me and stays here in Austin, then Michele Bachmann becomes my best friend. She is the only one left who can beat Palin at her own game. Butthead Badhair really disappointed me when he let A. J. Foyt drive that Camaro Convertible Pace Car this weekend. A few weeks ago, I thought he and Bachmann had Palin in a really effective crossfire, but we all sat and watched as he trumped his own electoral chances by cursing in a speech, proving that he had no sense of humor about his laughable self, and chickened out of one of the best car-nut honors on the planet!

I am not yet ruling out Mittens and his flip-flops or the snooze campaign of Pawlenty, but neither one has the attention of their own batbutt crazy constituents. I surely do want to see The Catfight of the Century if Bachmann really has the guts to slap the silly out of Palin. The first thing I want to see Michele do is to officially declare and show up at the New Hampshire debate on June 13 and call Sarah out as the chicken she truly is for not being there! Then I would like to see both of them show up at a later debate and Michele rip The Chicken a new one using her higher level of education, experience, control of the English language, and willingness to face the media.

I said back in early '09 that Sarah has up to an 80% chance at the Republican nomination and up to a 40% chance at winning the Presidency. The first one that could have thrown a monkey wrench with a birth certificate attached into that plan has already benched himself and slunk back to his hotel. The next candidate on the agenda is most certainly Bachmann. I am supporting her all the way, baby, because I do not think she can win either the nomination or the Presidency, but she can sure as hell block Palin. One of the wild card issues we cannot entirely dismiss is if the red movers and shakers are going to sacrifice a weak candidate to the Obama altar this time. I seriously doubt it, but I do not rule out the possibility. The other angle will be if somehow the Dr. Frankie Repubs can shove their way past their own unleashed monster to nominate a sane candidate of the wrong religious persuasion. It's his turn versus the charisma of craziness. There is a Texas thunderstorm on the horizon, and I have mixed feelings about it. Sarah and Rick are pals and both are crazy mean, but at least Rick Perry has a bit more going for him in the brains, education, and experience departments.